The last time I saw you
I was consciously cold.
I wore neutral colors
And a scarf so long it could double as a noose.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Watching the East River ferry pull away from the dock and sputter like the heavy breathing of a morbidly obese man, I fathom my options for escape being just as absurd. Futile and pork-belly slow. What a silly thought- the river between Brooklyn and Manhattan tastes like the gravy sealed in tupperware at the back of our fridge- forgotten from last Thanksgiving, or the Thanksgiving before that. [curdled, separated, seeped into the plastic that dutifully holds it despite low wages and an unfriendly work environment. we have to throw the whole thing out. no power scrubbing worthy/useful/possible]
The difference between being dizzy because of something you've done and something that is done unto you. The curious possibility that lies mischievously behind every dizzy spell that suggests that it is in fact something that you have done that has caused the dizziness, although it is certainly easy to imagine it as having emanated from some outside form.
Dizziness happens/finds its home in the mind, the head space- most aware of the God-air/wind-blanket that surrounds it, caresses it, sways it left and right to say yes and k(no)w.
K(no)w- the stability or the lack thereof provided by the feet; toes gripping the earth. Misteps and trippage is a physical problem- a misconnection between two solid forms- a misconnection of to(s) and fro(m)s. It exists/occurs apart from dizziness- the mind problem, though sometimes happens simultaneously or in conjunction with it. When this happens, you may feel and appear quite out of sorts- severely discombobulated, detached. Normally, when one experiences dizziness of the mind, one can overcompensate with the grounded stability of the foot (hence the term "sure-footedness".) The same may take place in the reverse hypothetical situation. You lose your footing, stumble about- but fear not! for you still have your mind, you assure yourself that it is "just" your body acting out of turn. But when they occur together, perhaps true grace can be found in funneling/harnessing the two in an orchestrated disconnect- a stylistic fall, a glide directed with awareness. This, we might call flying.